I recently listened to the audiobook version of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, and I heard a line that made me sit up a little straighter. When I heard the line, I had been in the shower after a long day, letting the hot water relax my muscles and my mind. I had been doing what I often find myself doing, visualizing my life once I graduate college and move to Boston, where I will strengthen my writing career and becoming a famous, influential writer and have a wonderful life far from the South and required college courses.
It’s one of my favorite fantasies.
Well, anyway, I was soaking in the shower, my phone resting on the folded towel by the lip of the shower, when I heard Cameron, who had been narrating a passage discussing the creative practice, say, “You will discover the joy of practicing your creativity. The process, not the product, will become your focus.”
Usually, when I have an audiobook playing while I’m in the shower, I’m only partly listening; the motivational lessons and lyrical language serve more as a way to soothe my mind while the hot water does the same for my body. I work two jobs and go to school full-time. There’s a lot in me that needs soothing.
But this time, I perked up, and that line looped through my head even while Cameron continued her narration. I had been doing just the opposite of what she suggested: I had been focusing on what my writing would look like when I was done with it. I had been dreaming of the rewards, while my writing life had started shrinking in my day-to-day life.
Sure, I wrote a few pages of my thoughts in the morning, and I developed ideas for future pieces and ways to edit drafts. But I had neglected the process of serious creation. The writing I did create was never anything that had the intention or even the chance of reaching other people.
So, since hearing that line, I have tried to focus more on the process and less on the end result. I’ll never get to that result if I don’t engage with the process anyway. Now, I am working on a new short story, and I keep reminding myself to find joy in the act of putting words together, of creating surprising and interesting images, of telling stories that illuminate the different ways we, as humans, live in this world.
Doing this work is a privilege, something that I should take seriously, but it is also something that needs to be a source of joy and pleasure in my life, even it if sometimes makes me want to jump out of my second-floor dorm window.
I’m much less interested in the product of that particular process.